Thread:SpacedefenderX/@comment-32942597-20180616023443/@comment-32942597-20180626225413

What’s one thing you definitely don’t want to hear the captain say on a airplane?

“Everyone! Stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye! Your cushions are actually lined with cement and your oxygen mask has nitrous oxide! Your in-flight meals have salmonella and the in flight movie is actually Trump's inauguration! I've set the autopilot to circle this volcano and all of the parachutes are rigged with explosives! Fuck you all and as always: THANK YOU FOR FLYING UNITED!”